Trepidations of a romantic

I am an incurable romantic. I think thats my biggest botheration. I even have a theory behind this. I think my romanticism stems from watching too many movies and reading too many books. And even there, my choice has always been the romantic-comedies or epic romances. Even the music I like would be love songs and ballads. And into this strange neo-reality I live in, throw in my desire to be a movie maker one day. So as a 'wannabe' movie maker I often imagine my future movies. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that each of those turn out to be a romance. So, all these things together, has made me reach a stage where, even at 23, I do not understand what is a "real" romance.

This incurable romantic in me has led to multiple problems in my life.

Firstly, in the true spirit of innumerable chick-flicks and rom-coms, I can't see a cute guy without losing my heart to him. Of course it doesn't help that I never blip on their radar. I mean, their radar is usually tuned into the hotness quotient of girls (not something I claim to score highly on) or tuned off completely. I mean, seriously, there are these guys who completely burn you with their intensity and make you swoon. And they do it with complete ease, with tremendous nonchalance. (As an aside, all those guys who are dying to make women fall for you, let me tell you women love men who doesn't seem to try at all.) So, getting back to the point, these guys who are cute, who are successful (success brings an allure) and who appear to know it but couldn't seem to care less about it makes my heart skip a beat.

Secondly, the best friend syndrome. I mean, how many times have we (assuming you watch rom-coms) seen the girl hanker after an un-gettable guy when the man of her dreams has always been next to her. I mean, its a staple of these movies for the girl to finally get the man she craves and then realise at the last moment that the guy she really needs is right next to her. So, having seen countless such movies (must be more than 100 at last count), I now preempt this situation by looking around. And just as I start to go weak in the knees over this super hottie, I jump a step forward, look around and decide which is the friend who is actually meant to be my hero.

Thirdly, in real epic-drama style, I love men who are chivalrous but chauvinistic. By the way, please note, I am all for women's empowerment and equality. Its just that my favourite hero of all times is Rhett Butler. And what he brought to the table was chivalry and chauvinism, two sides of the same coin actually (just my opinion, no intention to hurt anyone). So when I find men who do small things for you... well who wouldn't like it!

Talking of Rhett Butler, fourthly, I also love men like him- tall, dark, powerful, strong (I know its totally different from the chocolate boy hero of the first point or the quiet guy of the second point, but then who said I have to like only one kind of men?).

Finally, the incurable romantic in me has led to expectations of roses and candlelit dinners and lovely surprises. Now, any sane person will tell me that it doesn't happen in real life. I mean, the rare candlelit dinner is a possibility. But violin in the background when he looks deep into your eyes? Really? Or a single red rose everyday? REALLY?

So, analysing the situation, I realised that the problem was more deep-rooted than earlier thought. I mean I'd DIE if a guy was to give me a flower everyday or hold the door for me all the time or pull my chair out for me or stand up every time I had to leave the table! Thats like so seventeenth century!

Having gone around in a circle and arrived back at square one (as an aside, that sounds like such an oxymoron!) I started to think exactly what did I want. Who would be my ideal guy? I don't think he needs to be all that good looking or chivalrous. Yes it was important for him to be sensitive and also understand me. Basically be a friend. And have a similar bend of mind so that we could take the important decisions in life together... And just then, somewhere in my mind, a tiny voice (like one of those two tiny fairy and devil things that exist in everyone) whispered, "There you go look for an ideal guy again." I realised that I truly am an incurable romantic and that was to be my biggest botheration.