Another fictional story

The phone rang continuously on the table next to his laptop. The popular number set as his specific ringtone for Shreya blared on. He ignored it as long as he could. Then, unable to take it any longer, he picked it up meaning to tell Shreya off or put it on silent. At that moment the phone stopped ringing. Just as he was about to set it down again, it rang again. Only this time it was a different ring. No popular number this, it was an old obscure tune hummed and whistled as if by amateurs. In spite of his busy schedule, a smile played on his lips as he hit the green ANSWER button. “I will be home soon”, he said into the phone. A “Humph!” was all he heard before the phone clicked shut on the other end. He couldn’t suppress a broad smile.

We were in college when we first met. It wasn’t supposed to happen really. We were both so different. He was a nerd. He believed in attending his classes and acing as many subjects as possible. He had a small group of guys he called friends and felt content spending his free time with them. I, on the other hand, was a floater. The whole world, or at least the whole college, I counted as friends. I could talk to anyone. And yet, I had no one who understood me well. So I floated around trying to find my spot. Academics were never my thing. I believed I could change the world and worked hard at it by indulging in all manner of non academic activities possible. Our worlds knew no intersection. Yet we met. At best it could be called an accident. Although the naive, romantic me believed it was destiny. We were both waiting in front of the staff room trying to get the attention of a particular professor. The professor didn’t actually teach me. I just needed his signatures on some petition documents I was trying to push through. He though actually studied the professor’s course. So as the professor exited his room on the way to the next class, we both swarmed him from both sides trying to get his attention. Much to his chagrin, the professor favoured my petition to the discussions of his favourite student. He looked daggers at me.

The next time we met was as accidental. Or like I said before, it was as fortuitous. We were paired up for assignments in a course we had to take in common. I wasn’t too excited when it happened.  But with time, we warmed up to each other. I realised we can actually work together without being at each other’s throat. We were friendly without actually being friends. And then came that moment when I think it all changed. He stood up for me.

The course was a compulsory one on Government and Political history. One of the assignments was a solo essay where I wrote a controversial yet thoughtful article on the history of communism in India. The other 60 students tore into me. Or at least the more interested 10 or 12 of them did. The professor for this course encouraged arguments. She said it helped people develop opinions and become more aware of their surroundings. But sometimes the argumentative back and forth would get vicious. And this time it definitely did. Surprisingly only one person stood up for my point of view. He did. And that opened a floodgate for both of us. We realised how much we had in common.

Having been content with his small group of friends before, he was no longer satisfied with their limited conversation. And I finally had someone who understood me. We couldn’t have enough of each other’s company. We spent all our waking hours with each other. The years of college went by quick. And it was graduation day.

The world felt our chemistry and talked about us. But somehow it never bothered us. It never occurred to me that we could be more than friends. That would have been blasphemy. So we just continued as best friends would. On graduation day and the after party, as was customary with us, we spent all the time together. We spoke till the wee hours of the morning of our individual futures, what lay ahead, the uncertainties, etc. And then as dawn peeked beyond the horizons and birds stirred in their nests, and as there flowed enough alcohol in our veins, he held my hand. It just felt right. It felt as if we always knew that would happen. We didn’t have to say anything more we just sat there and saw the sky lighten and the first day dawn when we were no longer students, but were supposed to be grown up.

The bell rang three times in a row and I ran to open the door. I knew it will be him. The moment the door opened he enveloped me in a bear hug. I hugged him back. I couldn’t be happier to see him. It had been almost a year since I had last seen him. “So good to see you”, he almost whispered into my hair. “Same here”, I grinned back and then turned around and shouted in the general direction of the kitchen, “Shreya, your husband is home”. Shreya walked into the room with a tray covered in food. “Finally”, she smiled and asked him playfully, “Happy to see your best friend again?” He nodded wordlessly.

It was a good dinner. Shreya was an impeccable cook. And he and I had so much to speak about that conversation never ebbed. I told him all about the last year –my travels, the places, the people I met, my future. And he told me about his new venture, the hard work he was putting in and the results that were finally showing. It was just like old times. We sat there and talked about the future, what lay ahead and the uncertainties.

I knew he had been worrying about me. The last time we had parted weren’t on the best terms. So when he saw me smiling and relaxed, he could feel himself relax too. His smile widened as the night progressed. He could feel the guilt slip away as he saw I had moved on.

It was 2 years after college and we were best friends. It hadn’t seemed possible in college that we could have gotten closer. But we did. We passed out of college and started working in the same city. We worked hard during the week and spent our weekends catching up of movies, plays, shows or just gossiping over dinner and drinks. We never spoke of the night of graduation day when we had held hands. I in my heart assumed it was a matter of time before he would ask the question. But I was in no hurry. So when he asked me for a take away dinner on a hot sultry June Friday night to his place, I didn’t think much of it. I thought we would probably just stay in and see a movie or two. So I was taken aback when post dinner he turned to me and said he wanted to talk. In spite of everything, I could feel a small flutter in the pit of my stomach. “I have something to say”, he whispered and took my hands. The butterflies in my stomach took wings. “My parents have found a girl for me that they want me to meet. They say she is perfect for me. And if I like her too then the marriage will be held this winter.” I sat in stunned silence. “Please say something,” he implored. But I couldn’t. I wordlessly got up, collected my purse and walked out. I took the stairs from his 12^th floor apartment.

A month later I handed in my resignation. Two months later I had encashed all my savings and borrowed a fair amount from my father. The following month I travelled to Europe to backpack across the continent. The trip lasted eight months.

He came to drop me off at the elevator. My dazzling smile as I entered the elevator soothed him. He felt relieved and knew he would be able to sleep undisturbed again. As the elevator door closed, he failed to notice my glistening eyes. He turned to return to his apartment, to his wife. The glisten formed a tiny drop and made its way down my cheek and past the smile.

[The story is a work of fiction and while many people may find resemblances, its only for inspiration for characters and not incidents in itself. Writing in first person is only a writing style.]

Another Fictional Story

The following story is written in a non-linear narrative style. It was just an attempt at experimentation. If it's difficult to follow I shall put up a simplified, linear version.

She tried hard to control those tears in public. She succeeded. Those large black eyes brimmed with tears. But she didn't let the world see it.

She was an only child. She was not just an only child of her parents but she was the only child in the entire extended family. And like most such single kids, she had her share of pampering. But she was a strange child. It was impossible to know what she thought. She lived in her own imaginary world.

She could hardly wait to be alone. Even as she stood with her back to the door of the restroom, she dissolved into tears. It came as a flood.

Even while she grew up, she never threw tantrums. When something hurt her she just drew into her shell. She found it difficult to make friends. Instead, she spent hours reading.

She met him purely professionally. She'd met hundreds of people that way. She didn't know it'd be different this time. As in-charge of recruitment, it was her duty to chose people she thought was competent. And she found him competent.

Through primary and secondary school she was revered. Never loved, just revered. She was the one who had answers to everyone's problem. She could make teachers postpone or even cancel tests. She could solve petty fights between friends. She could sort out issues of jealousy. She could be the best shoulder to cry on. She could advice a broken heart. And through it all, she would remain above it. No one ever saw her show extreme emotions of any kind- she never showed anger, was never overjoyed and never cried. She was known and admired by everyone around her. Yet, she never had any friends.

It all started the way it always does; the break at the coffee shop, the innocuous after office drinks, the occasional party at a colleagues, the gossip near the cooler. And somewhere in between the harmless banter and shared frustrations, they became friends.

She'd been dating Shekhar since her Post Graduation days. He was her senior and though she never felt any particular love towards him, she had realised by then that she'd be disappointed in any relationship she undertook. Her problem was that she'd been alone too much. Her problem also was she expected too much out of any relationship. Having failed before, she decided the best thing for her was this compromise.

High school changed her life forever. There she met Purab. Purab touched a chord somewhere within her. He, for the first time, seemed interested in what she wanted. He, for the first time, seemed interested in her, the person. He taught her it was ok to be happy when chosen as the class captain and it was ok to be sad when she received her first fail grades. He taught her it was ok to smile and laugh and even cry. He brought her alive.

Shekhar was an Investment banker. He hadn't asked her to marry him yet. But they both knew it would happen soon. It wouldn't be a romantic, candle-lit affair. It would be a practical decision taken with cold precision.

People around them were confused as to what they thought of each other. Some thought they were romantically involved. Others thought they were just overtly sociable. Most thought they were great friends. She thought so too. From meeting up as part of the entire team to the more intimate friends group and finally to meeting one-on-one for coffee and conversation, they grew close. They could share the small joys and pains of life with each other. They could discuss work. They could discuss films. They could even spend hours discussing things they wouldn't even remember later.

High school was a bed of roses for her with Purab. They were never a couple. They were just best friends till they reached a point where people just assumed that they were a single entity. And with the rest of the world, she started believing the same. She assumed that they'd just be together through life. And then high school ended. She joined college nearby whereas he flew out of the country on a full scholarship. He promised her they'd keep in touch. They did. But the frequency kept dwindling. And then they didn't anymore.

Fate had its own games to play. A new project came up and they were staffed together. This just meant more time together. They spent longer hours in office. Sometimes weekend too. At other times, there'd be chatting on the phone. It would always start as work. But they never noticed when the transition was made and the conversation shifted beyond work and reach life itself.

After her fiasco with Purab, she became weary. But unfortunately her heart had learned to open. So when earlier she was content, now she felt something missing. She slowly drew into her shell again. That was before she met Aryan.

Shekhar finally brought up the topic of marriage. She knew it was inevitable and never particularly felt anything about it. She was just waiting to get it done and over with. Like another of those things on her to-do list. But when he did bring it up, she wasn't so sure any more. For a fleeting instance, his face crossed her mind. She felt a longing she hadn't felt since her college days.

Aryan was in every way an opposite of Purab. He was caustic and sarcastic. He was cynical, narcissistic and rude. But when he though the world wasn't looking, he could be quite caring. And towards this broken girl, he felt a special connection.

The both of them were working late in office that day. They had a deadline that week. After finally deciding to call it a day, they ducked into the all-night coffee shop to grab the missed dinner. Sitting there, maybe through the tiredness of the day or maybe the pensive mood he was in or maybe just because it was that solemn time of the day, he told her he liked this girl. Her name was Chandra and she was a new joinee. She had noticed how Chandra had become popular with the guys around. But this she hadn't expected.

When Shekhar asked her, it was more by way of formality. In fact, they were driving to see a film when he asked her if December would be the right time for the wedding or would she rather have it some other time. As she looked out of the car window at the rain swept roads of the city, she realised what she was doing was wrong. She didn't love him. Thats when she turned around on her seat and told him she doesn't think she wants this and calmly asked him to stop the car. Then she proceeded to alight and take a passing auto home.

Aryan would do small things for her that helped heal her wounds faster than diamonds or love songs could have. When she missed class, he was there to give her notes. When she was bored, he would walk to the tea-stall across the gate from college. When she would fall asleep in the library, he would wake her up before the librarian could spot her. He made sure she remembered when she had a test and made her study for it. He improved her grades. He made her do something she was good at but had given up on, writing. He encouraged her and soon turned out to be her biggest fan. Without realising it, she was soon dependent on Aryan.

She knew she was wrong to expect him to say anything to her since he thought she was engaged to Shekhar. That evening she intended to tell him that she'd left Shekhar. And just then he told her about Chandra. He went on to ask her for help. She couldn't refuse. He was too good a friend.

Shekhar kept calling her. She refused to take the calls. Relentless, he came to visit her but she refused to see him; or to reply to his many messages and mails. She knew Shekhar deserved some answers but she didn't know if she could provide them just yet.

Even as his attraction towards Chandra increased, it was clear to everyone who knew them that Chandra just wasn't interested. Additionally, knowing him so well, it was clear to her that Chandra wasn't even right for him. But when she tried to tell him, he brushed her off. Blinded by love, he was sure of winning Chandra over. She felt helpless. She decided to let fate take its own way.

With increased confidence, she started doing better in her exams. She even started topping the class. That's when Aryan became aloof. She sensed a growing distance and begged him to tell her what was wrong. But Aryan steadfastly refused. At last when she realised, she purposely messed up her exam for Aryan. He topped. But he looked at her answer sheets and found out the truth. And now with his ego more bruised than ever before, he just refused to talk to her again.

They were at an office party that night. He kept making a fool of himself over Chandra. People egged him on but laughed behind his back. It hurt her to see him that way. She went to where he was standing with Chandra and her group of friends and tried to pull him away. He just brushed her away. Insulted, she turned around to walk away. But swallowing her pride she went back to try again. This time he just turned around and asked her to leave him alone. Then he nonchalantly went back to his flirting. Quietly, she turned away.

After Aryan and Purab she had decided that she will never again take a chance. She would not risk her heart but play it safe. That's why she decided on Shekhar. Shekhar was dependable and stable. And he would never want her to love him with all her heart. That is all she needed to keep herself from greater pain.

They were in the office pantry that day. Everyone was ribbing him about his great night and his flirtatious ways. Without realising the malice, he smiled in a self-satisfied way. And then he saw her. Looking at her in the eye, he blamed her for trying to take him away from his love and playing the spoil-sport, especially when he was making such giant leaps. He accused her in front of all present of sabotaging his chances with Chandra. He continued relentless even as she used all her self-control to not cry just then.

Once in the rest room stall, the flood gates opened. She cried hopelessly and uncontrollably. She cried for a long time. And then for quite some time after that, she just sat on the floor quietly. Then she quietly stood up and washed her face of all tear streaks. She patted her hair in place and applied liner to replace the layer just washed away. She smiled a bleak smile at herself in the mirror. It never reached her eyes. Then she took the phone out of her bag. Even as she left the rest room, she placed a call through to Shekhar. December was acceptable to her.

Lovers

*Contains graphic descriptions. Please read at your own discretion. The story is entirely ficitonal and is not meant to offend any person.

Her lips burned on mine. I could feel her body heat through the flimsy garments that separated our skins. I could smell the faint perfume of her hair. And I could feel her hand behind me, holding me, supporting me, bending me backwards, as always.

When naina first caught hold of me today and kissed me, I have to say that although I was taken aback, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. For a long time now she had been making it amply clear that there was more to us than just good friends and in the last few days the hints had hardly been veiled. I mean, I could never be sure. But I thought I felt her lips on the top of my head when fell asleep on her shoulders in that boring founder's day speech. Or I felt her hand brushing past mine too many times as we walked yesterday. Or the hand was more on my back than the back of the seat as we watched the Speed Racer in INOX. Maybe it was my imagination but she did touch my knees too often while talking and her hands had definitely brushed past some sensitive areas while walking past me. But somehow I always allayed my fears at the conscious level by calling it a coincidence or general figments of my imagination. So when she finally did touch me, I was very taken aback. When she suddenly wheeled me around, held me with her strong arms and kissed me, I was surprised, but somewhere all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

Naina. Girl extraordinaire. Tall, pretty, intelligent- she always topped class and was basket ball captain of college team too. She was universally regarded to be an all rounder and was a teacher’s favourite. She was also a great leader, they said. She could encourage and inspire the most timid of beings and could lead any number of people to any task. In short she was brilliant. But to me she was a lot different. She was my hero alright, but she was also my best friend. Like the rest of the college, teachers included, I was in awe of her personality. But where she helped others because she liked to be looked up to, her helping me was entirely because she genuinely cared.

Yes Naina genuinely cared for small insignificant me. It probably stemmed from her need to be looked up to and respected. But when she met me there woke in her a maternal spirit seen in all women, specially the domineering kind. She probably just wanted to protect me. And she did a good job. The marks I got were all fruits of her efforts. She taught me before every test, be it class test or the more important semesters. And sitting together for long hours in the library and corridors gave rise to a relationship much deeper than probably expected by people of us.

Looking back, what drew us together was our loneliness. For me that was understandable. Having come from a closely knit family, adjusting into a hostel life was never going to be easy. I moped in my solitude and did not open up. The result was as expected; no one took an interest in me. Some of the people tried being kind but it made me retreat into my shell even more. As a result I became what is defined as a loner.

But her story was difference. She had everything, she was outgoing. She was always surrounded by people. But all these people revered her and were in awe of her. But they were also secretly jealous. So she never found that camaraderie that she looked for.

And then we met. Well it was not that big an incident. It was quite harmless. We met in the café when we both wanted the same drink but there was only one bottle left. Overawed I let her have it. But she gave it back to me, took something else and went and sat between her gang. I don’t know what came over me but I carefully divided the drink in half and handed it to her plumb in the centre of her friends. She looked up, startled.

That is how it started. Then she returned the kindness a number of times in class and lab. But even then the interactions remained the same as her interactions with the other quiet people in class. What changed it a little once was when I did very badly in an exam and I was publicly hauled for it. The teacher did not stop till she had her fill of publicly humiliating me. I must have looked very forlorn that day. She took a liking to me and took me under her wings. Probably the maternal feelings were born then.

But what sealed the bond was when one day I saw her cry quietly in the bench by the basket ball court. It was a Sunday evening and the play fields were deserted. I couldn’t see what she was doing. All I could make out was the tall, splendid figure slouched over the bench. Instinctively, I moved towards her. She probably heard my footsteps because she looked up. I took in her tear stained face and probably for the first time in my 18 years acted strong. I held her while she poured out her heart and cried. That day we became friends.

That was 2 years back. In the last two years we’ve seen a lot of successes and failures but we’ve always stood by each other. To the whole world, this pairing seemed strange. But for us it was just right. We acted as perfect counterfoils of each other. And so the friendship grew.

During these two years the friendship blossomed. We came really close. But it was only lately that I felt her behaviour towards me changing. Not that she distanced herself. But she became more possessive, aggressive if I was to have other friends. And then there were the subtle and sometimes not so subtle hints. And then today happened.

She caught hold of me in this wonderfully experienced manner. From the first moment itself she took control, the way she always has in this friendship. She put her hands around my waist to support me like she always has through life’s turbulences. In her eagerness she forced herself on top of me till I bent back, like always when faced with her whims. As her kiss got more urgent, the thoughts became more frantic. I did not know if I was ready for this, if this was right. But as usual she took control and took the decisions for me. I knew I had nothing to worry about. The thoughts were slowly displaced by her fragrance and her urgency. I thought nothing when her hand finally moved up to my breasts.

Masque

I took the plane,
Flew far away,
Didn't look back at all that day;
You thought me heartless,
You still do,
Never showed you what was true.
I smiled lightly,
Swallowed my tears,
I assured you, hid my fears,
I convinced you,
Said we'll meet,
But I felt broken, I felt beat.
You showed your pain,
Shouted back,
Blamed me for emotional lack...
I accepted
All you said.
My heart to steel that day I made.
For three months now
I've been through hell.
Clammed up, drew into my shell.
Can't lie no more!!!
Feel caught in a net,
Truth is all that you'll get.
I miss you too,
I miss you bad,
Pain's so much it drives me mad.
Distance kills me,
Can't take the pain;
Trying to numb and shut my brain,
Trying hard to
Laugh and smile,
Trying hard to spend a while,
Trying to live,
Though you I need.
Though I know well I'll never succeed...