Masque

I took the plane,
Flew far away,
Didn't look back at all that day;
You thought me heartless,
You still do,
Never showed you what was true.
I smiled lightly,
Swallowed my tears,
I assured you, hid my fears,
I convinced you,
Said we'll meet,
But I felt broken, I felt beat.
You showed your pain,
Shouted back,
Blamed me for emotional lack...
I accepted
All you said.
My heart to steel that day I made.
For three months now
I've been through hell.
Clammed up, drew into my shell.
Can't lie no more!!!
Feel caught in a net,
Truth is all that you'll get.
I miss you too,
I miss you bad,
Pain's so much it drives me mad.
Distance kills me,
Can't take the pain;
Trying to numb and shut my brain,
Trying hard to
Laugh and smile,
Trying hard to spend a while,
Trying to live,
Though you I need.
Though I know well I'll never succeed...

Thoughts of a Procrastinator

8.30 pm: Dinner over. What should I do now? I could go through my books... But hey, isn't it too early for that? But I do have to do that case for tomorrow. Or else I may just be thrown out. But hey 8.30 IS too early. Abhi to sirf shyaam hai...

9.15 pm: God! Is 45 minutes up already? And all I did was chit-chatted. High time I got cracking on that case. But wait... isn't that Gautam? I really needed to talk to him regarding that book I wanted. Anyway its been 2 days since I last talked to him...

10.45 pm: I can't believe I've been talking to him for one and a half hours! What a waste of time! But hey, I shouldn't be calling it that. It was fun talking to him. But am I forgetting something? Of course! Go meet that senior! Cases might be important but networking is why we are here. Aur yeh gyaan prapt aur bhi zaroori hai...

11.30 pm: What a line! He must be running atleast half an hour late. Thank God thats done. Now I should really get cracking on reading and analysing that case. And its 23 pages long too! But I am hungry from all the talking. Maybe I'll catch a bite to energise me...

12.15 am: That took longer than expected. But then there were too many people in the canteen. And it wasn't just that I got delayed talking. The food came late too! But now I am really full. I need a short walk to stimulate my muscles and help me digest my food. I promise it'll be a very short walk.

1.00 am: God! I frgot how beautiful the campus is! I know I took longer than planned but it was totally worth it! Now I am totally refreshed to go tackle that case.

1.30 am: Am I sleepy already? I can't believe it. Maybe if I watch that movie I downloaded yesterday... I am sure half an hour of that movie would be great for me.

4.00 am: Its 4!!! Completely lost track of time, the movie was that good. Though I admit it was tad too long. Oh shit! The case! I'll do it right now!!

4.10 am: zzzzzzzzzzz....

4.45 am: Did I just fall asleep? Oh yes! That too with the light on! What was I doing? Oh yes! The case! Oh there's ample time during breakfast tomorrow. I need my beauty sleep. Goodnight!!

Up for Adoption

Don't be surprised if the classifieds in the Sunday paper reads
Up for adoption. Only section A, C, D and E are eligible to apply.

I mean, I love my parents and all that and I really am not thinking about changing them. Its my section at B-School that I have a problem with. "Why?" you ask. Good question. No they are not mean to me. No they are not boring. No they don't eat human meat. And they definitely have no aversions towards Bengali's. In fact, they are actually funny. They make great friends. And they are cool company.

Then "Why? Oh! Why?" you ask.

Well, here goes... The reason is... That... They are BRILLIANT. No I'm not kidding you. They are too good for me. I mean sample this, it is a class of 70 odd people, give or take a few. We all gave our mid term papers, many of them common with other sections. And this is what statistic has to say.

Quant paper. Total marks 50. The section highest 50. Section average 40. The paper was common across all sections. Take the average across all sections, and the class average is 35. Wouldn't you call that unfair?

Managerial Economics Paper. Total marks 100. The section highest 97.5. Section average ~84. Standard deviation 8.something. The paper was common across 3 sections. Section average in another section with the same paper is 73.

Financial Accounting Paper. Total Marks 40. Section highest 28.5. Section Average 13 (I thought this will be comparable). Common across 2 sections. Section average in other section is much <13 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">no one will choose me. But what the hell man. It'll still make me feel good to put up that ad this weekend. I am still up for adoption.

Living Like An Island

I live like an island.

A part of an archipelago, a group, a band.

I can see others around me.

But nevertheless an island I am to be.

I was 7 when as a good student in a religious Catholic School I learnt that hymn...

"No man can live as an island,

Journey through life alone"

At 7 I didn't know what it meant. Its catchy tune just made it a fun song to sing along.

Old Habits Die Hard. Even at 15 I sang it as I did when I was 7. I never thought what it meant. It was only when I left the comforts of my childhood school to join a new one that I felt the meaning. Leaving the warmth of a place I had known for the last 11 years, next only to home, was not easy. Leaving a place where everyone knew me, called out to me, smiled at me and talked to me was not easy. Leaving a place where I was a somebody for a place where I was but a name on the rolls was not easy. I walked the corridors of my new school as a nobody. I was desperately lonely. People looked through me. They didn't talk to me. They didn't even realise I existed. On one such occasion, at a morning assembly, that fateful hymn came up again. That day, at 15, for the first time I heard what I sang. I stifled my tears.

I did make friends eventually. But it took me almost a year. And till then, I spent a whole year being an island. I did everything on my own. I wasn't happy. But I claimed I was used to the solitude. I lied to myself.

Since then, I have often left a familiar place for a new one. Each time I have felt trepidation in my heart. Each time I have set foot in a new environment, I have sang the hymn quietly to myself. And each time I have triumphed over incognity.

But today I burn my bridges again. I try and build bridges with my surroundings. I fail miserably. I drift outward into the open sea with nothing to hold me down. I become an island. And I tell myself I am happy. I tell myself I have finally attained the freedom I have always seeked. I tell myself that there is no greater bliss than being a floating island with no strings attached. I convince myself of the opportunities the future holds and that can be achieved only by looking far far ahead. I keep repeating to myself that looking back is doom for me. I am sure that independence is what I seek and what I shall attain. I tell myself the hymn was only a child's song. It has no truth in it. I look into the mirror and see the smiling face of one who's happy. I also know I am a good actor. I know I am lying.

Richenpong - Takes My Breath Away

Richenpong cannot be called a village. Maybe a glorified hamlet, expanding suddenly and disproportionately in the wake of incoming tourists. But the serenity and virginity of the place has been unhampered by the development. Many city dwellers do come down to this beautiful dot on Sikkim's map. But here these people do not try and claim the place as their own. Instead, they tiptoe through the sleepy streets, almost to afraid to tamper with the beauty of the place.

Richenpong is about five hours drive from the nearest railway station New Jalpaigudi (Also known as NJP), the very busy gateway to all of North East's mountain range. Almost the entire length of the drive is through winding mountain roads, a steep wall of rock on one side and a breath taking valley along the other. To keep one company on that solitary drive, a river flows alongside for most of the duration of the journey, almost as if to reassure one that she is not lost.

Reaching the sleepy town of Richenpong gives one the impression of having come to an era long gone by. And the vista of some of the world's tallest peaks truly leaves one speechless. Everest and Kanchenjunga comes together in perfect synthesis. And when the sun comes up on these snow white peaks to set them on fire, no living soul could possibly look away.

The best part of this blissful retreat is the diversity in flora and fauna it offers. One can sit for hours looking on as varieties of birds come and strut their stuff on one or the other barren tree. These birds are of various shapes and sizes, colours and natures. Some are small and playful, while others are serene, yet beautiful. Yet others sing so melodiously that it brings tears to one's eyes. Richenpong also offers some of the rarest flowers in the world, including some varieties of Rhododendrons not available anywhere else.

With its beautiful winding roads, its serene monastries, its flowers and birds that bring together a riot of colours and a cacophony of melodies, its thunderous streams and waterfalls, its flitting cloud in which one could get lost, its silence, its quaint huts, its people with their hearts of gold and its majestic mountain ranges, Richenpong is truly heaven on earth.

My first blog post

Writing is something I really enjoy. I, however, considered myself one of those from the old school and believed that writing was best done with pen on paper. Of course, being very much a member of this generation, some amount of electronic writing was inevitable. But then I tried to keep it to a bare minimum. But it was only recently that I realised the importance of a blog when at a recent interview, I claimed to be a prolific writer but however the interviewer remained unimpressed when I told him I had never considered blogging an option. And then started my tryst with blogs. I was introduced to the world of blogs by a very good friend of mine only recently. After going through his blog, I was left highly impressed. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So after ranting and raving about why I have finally taken to blogging in a blog post which I agree do not make much sense, I have come to the conclusion that my first blog post is pretty futile and boring. But I like to believe that now that I have finally made a start, I can only move ahead. So I am looking forward to more such ranting and ravings and maybe some fun in the process.

Cheers!!!!!